Clay Aiken is finally confirming what many people suspected: He's gay, and his lady admirer's are not only shocked, but clearly, the dumbest humans alive.
While "American Idol" runner-up Aiken has rarely addressed rumors about his sexuality, to anyone with a mustache or any sense whatsoever, it was one of the worst-kept secrets known to mankind - second only to the fact that Dave Navarro is worthless.
The cover of the latest People magazine shows Aiken holding his infant
son, Parker Foster Aiken, with the headline: "Yes, I'm Gay." We've already purchased 38 copies just for safe keeping.
The cover
also has the quote: "I cannot raise a child to lie or hide things."
Apparently, however, Aiken's parents did. But none the less, good for you Clay - good for you.
The magazine has an interview with Aiken and confirmed that he was on
the cover but refused to release the article until Wednesday, and now we all feel so much better.
The baby's mother is Aiken's friend and record producer Jaymes Foster, and we can only hope she is related to Jodie Foster, which would explain many, many things.
Aiken,
who gained fame as the runner-up on "American Idol" in 2003, rarely
addressed the frequent rumors about his sexuality. He said two years
ago, "I don't really feel like I have anybody to answer to but myself
and God and the people I love."
The
multiplatinum singer recently released the CD "On My Way Here" and made
his Broadway debut this spring in "Monty Python's Spamalot."
And in closing, let us never forget, once again, that Dave Navarro is worthless.
Carry on.