Every weekend, I have a chance to sit back, read the newspaper, watch "A-Team" reruns and Charles Bronson flicks, and knock back a few dozen InBevweiser Lights. And when you do this, you find things that make make you smile, either because they are funny, stupid, or both. This holiday weekend, as I pondered the grand glory that is organized labor and the quality workmanship that it provides, I found these nuggets:
- With pitcher Scott Kazmir's victory, the Tampa Bay Rays joined the 1968 Oakland A's as the only teams to have five pitchers 26 years old or younger with 20 starts and 10 wins in the same season. -- Is is just me, or has the over-statisticization of American sport gone too far? Seriously, who the hell cares? Think about it next time a SportsCenter anchor says something like, "This marked the first time that a second baseman had hit a home run during rainfall in a September night when the temperature was over 87 degrees since 1949."
- X-Files guy David Duchovny, who currently plays a sex-obsessed character on Showtime's "Californication", has entered a rehab facility for a sex addiction. -- So I'm guessing David has not been so faithful to wife and mid-level quality biscuit Tea Leoni, and this is his way of saving grace. Good for you David. Good for you. We should all be so wise as to claim "sex addiction" when we get busted cheating.
- Michael Jackson turned 50. -- OK, so the spookiest guy in America, who actually filed papers to become white at age 37, is now 50. Hard to imagine he's been improperly touching little boys for that long.
- Sean "Diddy" Combs complained about the "... too high" price of gas and pleaded for free oil from his "Saudi Arabia brothers and sisters" in a YouTube video posted Wednesday. -- Yes, well, Mr. Diddy, did you know that you too could cut back just a bit? You know, maybe not owning eight homes, 18 cars, three planes. You can do your part as well tiger!
And, the clear favorite:
- Cincinnati Bengals wide receiver and all-around-knucklehead Chad Johnson has legally changed his name to Chad Javon Ocho Cinco in Broward County, Fla. -- Nothing to add here. Nothing to add.
Carry on.
About afroman
The name “Abe Froman” is most commonly recognized as the ubiquitous and unseen character who’s identity is briefly assumed by actor Matthew Broderick in the film “Ferris Beuller’s Day Off.” However, Abraham Froman is much more.
Dr. Froman, a Capricorn, began his career with AMI as an intern, and after receiving his certification in nuclear mustacheology in 2006, transitioned his role into the organization’s Director of Logistical Intelligence, focusing on research, government relations, intelligence gathering, grass roots advocacy, and song writing.
On October 25, 2008, he will ascend to the role of Chief Executive Officer.
“I am honored to assume the chair held by Drs. Snor and Perlut previously,” Froman said. “The Mustached American people need leadership, and I pledge that AMI, under my stewardship, will continue to provide it at a time when it is so desperately needed.”
Dr. Froman has said that his future goals for AMI are to create satellite campus’s overseas and to develop an annual event, to be known as "The Million Mustache March," each year in St. Louis, concluding under the world’s largest mustache – St. Louis’ Gateway Arch.
Froman formerly lived in the Chicago area where he ran a museum dedicated to the "Karate Kid" series of films starring the indefatigable Pat Morita.
As Abe likes to say, "One can never tire of Pat Morita."
Dr. Froman is also a periodic contributor to joesportsfan.com.