A communique from AMI member Joe Dan Dockrey (yes, that's his real name):
To My Gods @ AMI,
As a man grows up in life and learns how to masturbate figures out who he is, through trials and
tribulations, he arrives at a final understanding of his reason for
living. Many men realize that they were meant to go out and change
things for the better, to create a family to carry on their family
line, or to sell bratwursts in a cart outside of a Golds Gym next to a homeless guy name Hayseed.
Nonetheless, we all have found a good dime bag of weed our calling in life and are determined
to show the world what we are meant to do in order to fulfill a life's
ambition. We are to grow a glorious mustache and wear the lip sweater
with passion and pride. It is understood by all that a mustache should
only be worn correctly if you intend to use it wisely and never let it
go to waste.
It is with my great pleasure that I announce my womb-broom wearing amigos and I will be representing all
mustached Americans by flying a 24-foot sausage mustache off a 25-foot
cliff into Lake Michigan in Chicago at the the Redbull Flugtag.
The National Herpes Congress Flutag has invited
my team of blind dwarfs to go head-to-head with 20 or more other teams in order to fly our
craft further than ever before. Using space-age materials,smoking lots of crack and nothing but a twirl of the 'stache and a hard look to judge all
measurements, we are destined to go into the local jail where we will be raped by large men history books.
We will be
drinking straight scotch launching September 6 in Chicago at North Avenue Beach with the
intention of bringing a tear to the eye of every mustache-toting cop,
fireman, cowboy, juvenile delinquent, facial hair equestrian, or anyone
still living in the '70's.
Be sure to say your prayers to a mustache-wearing Jesus (yeah, like he really exists), because we are going to win it all in Chicago 2008.
With Love And a Lip Full of Power,
Joe Dan Dockrey
jdockrey@gmail.com