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John Edwards - We Told You So

So the big hubbub on Friday was the stunning, stunning announcement that former U.S. Senator and presidential wanna-be John Edwards had an extramarital affair with some tramp who was apparently also taken behind the wood-shed by half of his campaign staff. 

We had to read endless Twitter comments and other online thoughts about how disappointed people are in Johnny Cute-Locks. But only one word comes to the collective mustaches and minds of the staff and administration here at AMI: Shock!

Let us take you back to a blog posting from AMI in January of 2008, written after Edwards suffered a crippling defeat in the Nevada primaries. We told you that John-John, sitting in curlers despite fostering a hairweave and one of those stupid signet rings worn by more than 90 percent of the male populace of Raleigh, N.C., was courting his friend Rusty in a Las Vegas gentleman's club.

Add this episode to his most recent admission, and what this tells us is that John is just a guy. He dips his pen in the company ink (the gal was working for him). He's simply no better than any other scrub. And clearly, Edwards is not a mustached American, as if he was, only his drinking buddies and a collection of trolls living under a bridge in Cleveland would have learned of any of his trysts.  

So in short, what does this tell you about the fine reporting skills of the crack AMI news team? Well, we don't like to gloat, flash our arrogance, demonstrate superiority, or just rub people's noses in what we told you nine freaking months ago. 

Carry on.  

*on an unrelated note, 'Stache Bash 2008 is upcoming on Oct. 25. Learn more here.  

Comments

 

Dean said:

Guys, I thought this was pretty disturbing and might require your immediate attention.

www.memri.org/.../latestnews.cgi

August 11, 2008 9:58 PM
 

Ben Badner said:

hey john edwards loves his family, so there is nothing wrong with this.

August 12, 2008 12:59 PM
 

rick said:

It least he's not gay! or would that be better, who knows, who cares.

August 14, 2008 5:52 AM

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About afroman

The name “Abe Froman” is most commonly recognized as the ubiquitous and unseen character who’s identity is briefly assumed by actor Matthew Broderick in the film “Ferris Beuller’s Day Off.” However, Abraham Froman is much more. Dr. Froman, a Capricorn, began his career with AMI as an intern, and after receiving his certification in nuclear mustacheology in 2006, transitioned his role into the organization’s Director of Logistical Intelligence, focusing on research, government relations, intelligence gathering, grass roots advocacy, and song writing. On October 25, 2008, he will ascend to the role of Chief Executive Officer. “I am honored to assume the chair held by Drs. Snor and Perlut previously,” Froman said. “The Mustached American people need leadership, and I pledge that AMI, under my stewardship, will continue to provide it at a time when it is so desperately needed.” Dr. Froman has said that his future goals for AMI are to create satellite campus’s overseas and to develop an annual event, to be known as "The Million Mustache March," each year in St. Louis, concluding under the world’s largest mustache – St. Louis’ Gateway Arch. Froman formerly lived in the Chicago area where he ran a museum dedicated to the "Karate Kid" series of films starring the indefatigable Pat Morita. As Abe likes to say, "One can never tire of Pat Morita." Dr. Froman is also a periodic contributor to joesportsfan.com.
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