To our 11.5 readers (the .5 is the one midget in Topeka who keeps badgering us), we know you need direction for vital information, tools, what have you. Here are some directions which may be of help.
- It’s clear things are getting really, really hot in Japan, so you might want to take a trip there, especially if you are older than 55.
- Head to an AT&T Wireless location as it looks like the iPhone
may become a source for some solid X-rated material.
- If you are looking for a severed foot, we recommend
high-tailing it to the Canadian
coast.
- We're guessing the Yankee's Derek Jeter will not be looking for supporters throughout Major League Baseball.
- If you are trying to avoided the dreaded “ thong injury”,
steer clear of Victoria’s
Secret.
- If you were looking for guidance as to who will win the next Super Bowl, you can check with Sports Illustrated's Dr. Z, but I don't think he's called anything right since 1973.
- If you’d like some fair treatment by a police officer, certainly
head to Kalamazoo,
Michigan.
- If you were looking for some top flight boredom, you watched this.
- If you are looking for groundbreaking statistics on life threatening issues, you go to The Onion.
- And finally, and most importantly, if you are looking for an
online dating site dedicated to people with a passion for mustaches, head here.
About afroman
The name “Abe Froman” is most commonly recognized as the ubiquitous and unseen character who’s identity is briefly assumed by actor Matthew Broderick in the film “Ferris Beuller’s Day Off.” However, Abraham Froman is much more.
Dr. Froman, a Capricorn, began his career with AMI as an intern, and after receiving his certification in nuclear mustacheology in 2006, transitioned his role into the organization’s Director of Logistical Intelligence, focusing on research, government relations, intelligence gathering, grass roots advocacy, and song writing.
On October 25, 2008, he will ascend to the role of Chief Executive Officer.
“I am honored to assume the chair held by Drs. Snor and Perlut previously,” Froman said. “The Mustached American people need leadership, and I pledge that AMI, under my stewardship, will continue to provide it at a time when it is so desperately needed.”
Dr. Froman has said that his future goals for AMI are to create satellite campus’s overseas and to develop an annual event, to be known as "The Million Mustache March," each year in St. Louis, concluding under the world’s largest mustache – St. Louis’ Gateway Arch.
Froman formerly lived in the Chicago area where he ran a museum dedicated to the "Karate Kid" series of films starring the indefatigable Pat Morita.
As Abe likes to say, "One can never tire of Pat Morita."
Dr. Froman is also a periodic contributor to joesportsfan.com.