Editorial note: the following letter to the editor was sent to the Wall Street Journal today.
Thank you Wall Street
Journal. No, this is not a thanks for your fine coverage of global
business, economic markets, the fine arts, or tales of innovating new means of
expanding crop yields. No, this appreciation cuts to the core of who we, as
Americans, are, and what has taken place in our society since the tail end of
the 1970s.
More pointedly, this is a thanks from the millions of mustached
Americans for showing the courage to place a large – maybe even ridiculously
large – caricature of a mustached American and chief executive officer –
AT&T Wireless’ Ralph de la Vega – on the front cover of your Marketplace section for your June 10 story,
“AT&T’s Bet on the iPhone.”
The question is, however, why should mustached Americans
feel a debt of gratitude to the Journal?
Sadly, the answer is steeped in more than a quarter century of popular culture
blatantly discriminating against
mustached Americans.
Indeed, how easily can one recall a time when a mustached
American appeared on the likes of the covers of the Journal, or Forbes and Fortune magazines? Certainly, it has
happened, as Ted Turner would not and could not be kept in shackles forever. But
the reality is that mustached Americans in today’s boardroom are a rarer breed
than a reasonably priced airfare.
Why is this? Because at the end of the 1970s, all things
mustache – a staple of 1970s culture – entered a dark period that seemed headed
towards extinction. The disco culture with its “triple threat” of the mustache,
permanent, and turtleneck were out. Walter Cronkite and his throngs of scientifically
cloned mustached local news anchormen began to disappear, leaving only Geraldo
Rivera as the torch bearer. And the
corporate boardroom became a place – much like the 1950s following World War II
– reserved for clean-cut executives devoid of labia sebuculas (Latin for “lip
sweaters”).
But as evidenced by your story and other indications – such
as the potential forthcoming sequel to the film “Anchorman,” there clearly is a
sea change ongoing. The mustached American, much like the American Bald Eagle or
break dancing (we hope) – are making a strong comeback. Trailblazers like Mr.
de la Vega and other chief executives are realizing that a mustache is not only
a symbol of strength, wisdom, good looks, and flavor saving ability – but a
mustache is, more simply put, a terrible thing to shave.
Aaron Perlut
Executive Director
American Mustache Institute