So, now, like Italian Spiderman,  there's a Hispanic milk mustache which I would expect to be a bit of salsa on the upper lip. But, no, it's the cocaine-white line above the lip that is being used to promote milk.

Why is this news? And the fact that the hairy upper lip of millions of men is not? Why?

I'm glad you asked that, my friend. it is the conspiracy that controls major media from a bunker far underground in the middle of a forest on an island in a far away place. Think Long Beach with a lot of rain. This group is being run by a secretive group of men who don't want us to know the power of the 'stache. They use the soporific qualities of milk to keep us down.

The man, that's whose keeping us down.

Well, I say, no, I won't buy into the milk mustache as the only socially acceptable means of expressing my manliness and love of cheese.  And I call on you to follow me up the hill and down the block to the 7/11 or Kwik-E-Mart or what have you where my mustache may scare some away from the dairy case or the biker magazines, but you will know that I mean business.

Who's with me?

Ed Anger

Your Town, U.S.A.