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Tell-tale signs

It's often funny what you can tell about a person by the little things. Those subtle qualities that quietly define us, but to the trained eye scream something about us at the same time.

Indeed, a mustache tells you a man is either:

  1. the bravest, most self-confident soul you've met;
  2. a child molester;
  3. a savvy consumer who wants to wisely save food for hibernation periods; 
  4. someone who hates beards as well as clean-shaven sissy-fairy-panzees.

A woman with a mustached man tells us she:

  1. loves confident men;
  2. enjoys a rough tuft of fur scraping against her upper lip during passionate kisses;
  3. loves to pick food particles out of unwitting cookie dusters;
  4. understands beards and goatees are spousal compromises and recognizes the utter weakness of clean-shaven mutants.

Outside of the mustache world, there are other signs you can read. To wit, Chicago Cubs fans are wise and used to winning, while New York Yankees fans are generally, well, not so smart. You know you'll smell peanut butter if you get close enough to a red-head.You could never, ever, have a reasoned and balanced discussion about gay rights or environmental issues with either someone who would vote for Ralph Nader, nor someone who contributed for a Tom Delay congressional campaign. You can certainly see Jean Claude Van Damme, dancing here in the the background during the fine flim "Breakin'," and know that he chooses his Hollywood scripts wisely. And of course, we all know what we can tell about Dave Navarro.

In this vein, there's an interesting news story making the rounds in advance of an upcoming "Real Sports With Bryant Gumbel" (who also hosts the popular program "Gumbel to Gumbel")on HBO, where presidential hopeful Barrack Obama suggests you may not be able to judge a person’s character by how he plays basketball.

“I do think you can tell something about people from how they play basketball,’’ Obama says in an interview that Bryant Gumbel has taped for HBO's Real Sports.

“For example, people who keep on shooting even though they have no jump shot,'' Obama says with a laugh. "You can tell that there is a certain self-delusional aspect to their game that says something about who they are.’’

The senator makes a fine point. What tell-tale signs do you see? 

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About afroman

The name “Abe Froman” is most commonly recognized as the ubiquitous and unseen character who’s identity is briefly assumed by actor Matthew Broderick in the film “Ferris Beuller’s Day Off.” However, Abraham Froman is much more. Dr. Froman, a Capricorn, began his career with AMI as an intern, and after receiving his certification in nuclear mustacheology in 2006, transitioned his role into the organization’s Director of Logistical Intelligence, focusing on research, government relations, intelligence gathering, grass roots advocacy, and song writing. On October 25, 2008, he will ascend to the role of Chief Executive Officer. “I am honored to assume the chair held by Drs. Snor and Perlut previously,” Froman said. “The Mustached American people need leadership, and I pledge that AMI, under my stewardship, will continue to provide it at a time when it is so desperately needed.” Dr. Froman has said that his future goals for AMI are to create satellite campus’s overseas and to develop an annual event, to be known as "The Million Mustache March," each year in St. Louis, concluding under the world’s largest mustache – St. Louis’ Gateway Arch. Froman formerly lived in the Chicago area where he ran a museum dedicated to the "Karate Kid" series of films starring the indefatigable Pat Morita. As Abe likes to say, "One can never tire of Pat Morita." Dr. Froman is also a periodic contributor to joesportsfan.com.
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