Feb. 12, 2008 (St. Louis) – With an increasing desire from both mustached and non-mustached Americans for political guidance during primary season, the non-partisan American Mustache Institute today announced its political endorsements for the Democratic and Republican nominees in the race for the 2008 presidency.

“With a crowded field of candidates who have clearly made poor grooming choices, Americans are craving the type of leadership provided by great former presidents Teddy Roosevelt, Chester A. Arthur and William Howard Taft,” said AMI research director Dr. Daniel T. Callahan. “AMI is here to provide guidance in this great time of confusion, and to lay down our expectations for leadership. Our initial decision was to support Chester A. Arthur as we did in 1880, but then my 16 year old son informed me that he has been dead for 120 years.” 

AMI officially endorsed the candidacies of Senator Hillary Clinton of New York on the democratic ticket and Governor Mike Huckabee on the republican ticket for the following rationale:

Clinton

-          Sen. Clinton represents the state of New York, the same state as one of our last mustached Presidents, the great Teddy Roosevelt.

-          Despite being a woman, Sen. Clinton is the only candidate that has been spotted wearing a mustache. Common knowledge inside the Beltway: she is known to have worn a fake mustache from time-to-time to fit into the good ol’ boys club of Washington, DC.

-          Sen. Clinton is running against two clean shaven men. Yes, her public platform has been focused on health care, education, and the war in Iraq, but behind closed doors she has admitted to the press that she just cannot stand for another clean shaven man to be elected President.

Huckabee

-          When conducting outreach to each of the candidates staffs, Chuck Norris informed AMI he would “melt your mustaches in a stare-down contest” if we did not support Huckabee. We found that compelling.

-          Huckabee wisely asked Stephen Colbert to be his running mate saying, "Stephen, please, be my running mate." Colbert responded, "Yes, a thousand times yes."

-          He also told Colbert that unlike rival candidate John McCain, who said he would only chase Osama bin Laden into hell, he would go, “…beyond. I will charge hell with a water pistol if necessary."

-          His last name is Huckabee.

Online you can view AMI’s thoughts on both the Democrats and Republicans, and later this year, AMI will make it’s final endorsement based on the following:

-          We seek a candidate willing to support a constitutional amendment prohibiting mustache discrimination in the workplace.

-          Excise tax on foreign imports of human hair – when you’re supplementing your ‘stache, buy American!

-          Federal holiday for Burt Reynolds’ birthday.

For more about AMI, visit www.AmericanMustacheInstitute.org or call (877) STACHE - 1.

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