in

American Mustache Institute

Protecting the rights of, and fighting discrimination against, mustached Americans by promoting the growth, care, and culture of the mustache.

Follow the AMI

This Blog

Syndication

AMI Administration

I hate horse coverage

I don't hate horses. My illegitimate son Hassim adores riding and eating them so how could I possibly hate them? From Mr. Ed to Secretariat to John Elway - they are all fine animals. But that is all they are - animals - and in this case future pet food.

John ElwayWhen Uber Horse and 2006 Kentucky Derby champion Barbaro was injured and later died, my sports pages were filled with article after article about his greatness and sad ending. ESPN is now reporting his ashes will be interred at the famed Churchill Downs racetrack in Louisville. I even found this tribute to Barbaro on YouTube. Good lord.

James Brown dying - please, fill up every last page of my newspaper. Osama Bin Laden dies - of course we'll hear about for months and for good reason. 

But as for horses dying, I simply don't care! Horses are pets, we pet them on the head, they end up as pet food, my college friends set their paths on financial ruin by gambling obsessively on them, they defecate on streets during parades, they pull carriages, they don't know what we are thinking, we don't know what they are thinking ("Um, hey dude, get the hell off my back before I kill you!"), and lastly, it has never been reported that horses can grow mustaches.

What will it take to keep news about horses - other than racing results - out of our media? I'm not sure. If you have an answer, please let me know.


 

Published Jan 29 2008, 11:15 AM by afroman
Filed under:

Comments

 

AMI Administration said:

Thank you to the hords of people who report on things that is assumably interesting but really is not

May 6, 2008 6:50 PM
 

JoeSportsFan.com :: Celebrating the Absurdity of Professional Sports said:

Pingback from  JoeSportsFan.com :: Celebrating the Absurdity of Professional Sports

December 3, 2008 11:35 AM

Leave a Comment

(required)  
(optional)
(required)  
Add

About afroman

The name “Abe Froman” is most commonly recognized as the ubiquitous and unseen character who’s identity is briefly assumed by actor Matthew Broderick in the film “Ferris Beuller’s Day Off.” However, Dr. Abraham Jonas Froman is much more. Dr. Froman, a Capricorn, began his career with AMI as an intern, and after receiving his certification in nuclear mustacheology in 2006, transitioned his role into the organization’s Director of Logistical Intelligence, focusing on research, government relations, intelligence gathering, grass roots advocacy, and song writing. On October 25, 2008, he ascended to the role of Chief Executive Officer. “I am honored to assume the chair held by Drs. Snor and Perlut previously,” Froman said. “The Mustached American people need leadership, and I pledge that AMI, under my stewardship, will continue to provide it at a time when it is so desperately needed.” Dr. Froman has said that his future goals for AMI are to create satellite campus’s overseas and to develop an annual event, to be known as "The Million Mustache March," each year in St. Louis, concluding under the world’s largest mustache – St. Louis’ Gateway Arch. Froman formerly lived in the Chicago area where he ran a museum dedicated to the "Karate Kid" series of films starring the indefatigable Pat Morita. As Abe likes to say, "One can never tire of Pat Morita." Dr. Froman is also a periodic contributor to joesportsfan.com.
© 2007 American Mustache Institute
Powered by Community Server (Non-Commercial Edition), by Telligent Systems