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AMI petitions NFL to move Super Bowl to Saturday

Editor's note: the following letter was sent by The American Mustache Institute to the National Football League petitioning it to move the Super Bowl to Saturday. You can read and view more about it here.


The National Football League,

 

On behalf of football fans everywhere, the American Mustache Institute asks the NFL move the pinnacle moment on America's sports calendar – the Super Bowl – from Sunday to Saturday. You can read and view our argument on our Web site here, but let us explain.

 

Purists may argue it would be heretical to hold the Super Bowl on any day but Sunday, but it is hardly unprecedented to alter a sports tradition. To wit:

¨ Major League Baseball's World Series was for decades a daytime event that has since been banished to a time-slot somewhere near Letterman and Leno so that 10-year-olds can't watch their heroes past the second inning.

¨ Baseball added wild card teams, giving its playoffs a dimension that creates excitement for every fan (other than the mustache-deprived Bob Costas).

¨ The time-honored names of several collegiate mascots have changed to respect the heritage of Native Americans.

¨ The Super Bowl itself has survived the scheduling shift from being played exclusively on the last Sunday of January to occasionally on the first Sunday in February.

¨ You are currently considering moving the Pro-Bowl to the bye-week between the conference championship games and the Super Bowl.

¨ And we have it on good authority that Barry Bonds will not be using steroids next season, one of the more revolutionary changes in sports over the past decade. 

 

You may ask why the vaunted organization representing the rights of the mustached American would make such a request, and the answer lies in who we represent.

 

The mustached American is a varied breed. Where in the 1970s we were newsmen, politicians, and members of the Village People – today we are carpenters, steel workers, motocross riders, and the current line-up of the Village People.

 

In short, we are everyman.

 

And we love nothing more than our  football – NFL football – which has been proudly represented by mustached Americans in Super Bowls from Joe Namath to Walter Payton to Jack Lambert to Mike Ditka to Doug Williams and the list goes on and on.

 

We believe great sports traditions can be altered if there is value in doing so. And indeed, a recently completed poll of heavily mustached restaurateurs, sports fans, non-sports fans, and one man from Mobile, Alabama claiming to be a "leprechaun" overwhelmingly suggests that there is not only support for holding the Super Bowl on Saturday, but that both the American culture and economy would benefit.

 

Consider:

¨ Super Bowl parties would become grander events, providing more social interaction, which often gets left behind in today's hurried American society.

¨ Party hosts would buy more food and beverages to accommodate a greater number of guests, thus benefiting grocery stores and other  merchants.

¨ More non-sports fans would attend these parties, enjoying greater social interaction with their friends, because they would no longer have to work the next day (with the exception of Christian clergy).

¨ And without work the next day, hosts could relax a bit more, enjoy the game and good company of their guests, feeling less pressure to clean up that night. 

¨ If more non-football fans are watching, the networks gain more overall viewers, translating into their  ability to charge more for advertising (think how much better $10 million commercials would be!).

¨ Restaurants and bars may have a steady flow of business on Sunday nights, but just imagine the immense traffic and revenues from a truly Super Saturday.

 

Finally, consider the issue of workplace productivity. Employers won't have to deal with employees strolling in late for work because they stayed up late on Sunday night watching the Super Bowl.

 

Mustached Americans believe the premiere showcase of America's pastime would be well-served – as we believe would all of our bare-lipped brethren and the business community – to move the entrenched tradition that is the Super Bowl to Saturday.

 

Much like holding a playoff for the NCAA Division I college football national championship, it would seem like one of those changes that is such an obvious improvement you wonder why it's never been done before.

 

Thank you for your consideration.

 

Sincerely,

Dan Callahan

Dr. Daniel T. Callahan

Director of Research

The American Mustache Institute

info@AmericanMustacheInstitute.org

http://www.AmericanMustacheInstitute.org

"...a mustache is a terrible thing to shave"

Comments

 

Joe, fan of "The Zabe" bare lipped said:

Amen AMI.  I wish they wouldchange it so then i wouldnt have to take off work so early in the year every year and use that day in the summer rather than a semi-wasted day of just recovering, I'd rather be at the beach....

January 24, 2008 6:47 AM
 

Josh Schwegman said:

Super Saturday, It would be super!!!!

January 24, 2008 7:49 AM
 

whiskey harris said:

the mighty mustache speaks again. sunday night is a time for stache maintenance and tim and eric. moving the bowl to saturday is another menacing idea from the moist mustachioed mates at AMI.

January 24, 2008 10:50 AM
 

The Ghost of Robert Goulet said:

Having the SB on saturday is a no brainer.  get it done NFL.  Gooooolay!

January 24, 2008 3:55 PM
 

Papamas said:

I love three things in life..... football...scotch....and mustaches.  A Superbowl Saturday would allow me another day with all three.... then its back to the puppy mill.

January 24, 2008 5:01 PM
 

Little Linebacker said:

I don't know why the NFL has not done this already.  The SB is about the only game I watch every year other than the Semi Finals.  Moving it to Saturday would make it so much easier to go to work Monday.

January 25, 2008 2:06 PM
 

Grizz A Beth said:

BRING ON SUPER BOWL SATURDAY!!!!!!!!!!

February 3, 2008 11:54 AM
 

David Underwood said:

PLEASE move it to Saturday!

June 8, 2008 6:26 AM

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About afroman

Abraham Froman, a Capricorn, is the first, and to this point, only executive intern in the history of the American Mustache Institute and loathes bare-faced humans and beards. People often recognize Froman, as in name only, he made a brief cameo in "Ferris Beuller's Day Off." Since then, however, he has since been overwhelmed by the outcry for his re-emergence in public life, the scrutiny of which was so great that at one point he returned to his Eastern European heritage and changed his last name back to "Fromansky" so that others would not recognize him as Froman is an avid sweepstakes entree. However, Froman perseveres, spending most of his time working on behalf of mustached Americans or competing in regional clogging competitions through the U.S. Froman still lives in the Chicago area where he also runs a museum dedicated to the "Karate Kid" series of films starring the indefatigable Pat Morita. As Abe likes to say, "One can never tire of Pat Morita."
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